Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
