I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
