Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
