whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I think I won the penis lottery.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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