the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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