Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
