Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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