Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
