Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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