Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
