to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
