glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
