I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Drunk walkin through police station. America
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
