just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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