Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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