Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
NoShamevember. You game?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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