NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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