the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Go christen that room with your naked body.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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