We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
