He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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