Where are you?
In a non slutty way
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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