8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
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