he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize