shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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