Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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