Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
