I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I still have a little drunk in my system
You're breaking my sexual little heart
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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