What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
