so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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