so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
