I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
did you just send me my own nude
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
