I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
