i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
