Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
