Porn is love you can see.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
