she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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