using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
