he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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