I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
