I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
