Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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