My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
