hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i would punch a child for taco bell
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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