she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
