someone threw a dead crab at me
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Do vagina's smell?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
