how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
