You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
