I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Can I color on your dick again?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
