we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
