grandma shit on top of the toilet
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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