What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Randomize
