he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
