? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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