apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
