That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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