His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
