he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
