I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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