would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
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