Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
